Tuesday, July 13, 2010

It reminds me that I am a mother

These few days, i've been a bit grumpy and let my emotion conquer my action.

Yepp..action towards my little ultraman.

He actually got sick last week. I guess because his nanny and her daughter also got sick and the sick aura spell on him too. But i brought him immediately to clinic for medication and now he is doing fine except for slight flu and cough.

what he did ?
and what i did to him?

Last weekend:
he cried for nothing and that made me so irritated and lost my patience.

I first ask him

'kenapa Yong2 nangis? Bagitau la mama.'

answer: 'Tak nak.'

continue again asking:

'Cakap la Yong2. Sakit perut?' nak Vitagen? Nak Calciyum?

answer: 'Tak nak! Tak nak! (crying louder)

again asking patiently and rubbing his back at the same time:

'Jadi, Yong2 nak apa, cakap la. Mari sini mama sayang. Nak tengok Ultraman Cd?'

answer: 'Tak nak! Tak nak! Tak nak!' (and at the same time rolled down from the cushion making a distance from me, and there he go crying more louder).

Oh, Goodness. How a mum can stand a kid behave like that!?
Without knowing the reason why he's crying and saying only 'Tak nak' really challenge me.

So, there i gone crazy. Without compassion, i came closer to him and


'kau ni kenapa a Yong2. Mama geram betul tengok kau menangis macam tu. Mama tanya tak nak bagitau. Berhenti menangis, kalau tidak, mama pukul lg kaki tu.'

Stupid me asking him to stop crying after gave him a very great rewards.

No action other than keep crying. I tell you i gone really crazy. I didn't persuaded him with hope that he learn something from what i did to him. He continued crying for about fifteen minutes and there was no sign of stop crying.

I pitied him. Which mum couldn't, right?

I gently said:
'Sudah la tu Yong2. berhenti nangis. Sini mama sayang.'

Then he got up, walked toward me and hug me as he never want me to let him go.

Oh, dear..how could i hurt this little kid of mine just because of the small matter?

Yesterday's evening when i back home from office around six, he did the same. I really do not have idea why he is crying. I did the same to him like before.

I feel so terrible. I am in a dilemma. this incident always remind me that i am A MOTHER. Yes. A MOTHER. I am sure there are many more to come along the way. and i guess, i am ready.

.A question in mind, why i so emotional these few days.................is it because i am STRESSED OUT?

At office yesterday, we (means us in the office) got to know that one of our colleague already got his letter of transfer to the polytechnic he requested for. Good for him but somehow, it made me regret.

Why mine is still postponed??? Arggghhh...!!

Today, hubby called me he is not doing well. His back pain come again and i'm not there!

Its really challenging me. (: